This morning was a cold one. There was plenty of frost outside on the grass and even on the dirt. My fire stayed burning over night and helped to keep some of the house warm. As I reflect on how lucky I am to have a wood fire, it can be difficult to keep it going at times. It becomes another thing to look after. There already seems to be a lot of things on the “to do” list. It all depends on which “hat” I am wearing at the time. I go by many titles such as mum, daughter, sister, auntie, friend, taxi driver, cleaner, homework supervisor, laundry lady, health and safety manager, first aid officer, anxiety reliever, motivator, gardener, CEO of the household, toy repairer, cook, carer, accounts manager, secretary, small business owner… the list goes on.

At any given time throughout the day I could be wearing multiple hats and expected to switch seamlessly between them. A prime example is when we are expected to work like we don’t have children (or elderly parents to care for) and to parent or care like we don’t work.

Having these expectations on us can sometimes force us to take unnecessary risks, make us feel like we are hopeless, inadequate and then we feel like we are not doing a very good job at anything because we are stretched thin. This then leads to our own frustration, irritability, anxiety, and eventually burnout.

Once we hit the burnout stage, we aren’t able to help anyone. Even taking care of ourselves is hard.

So what is the answer? How do we achieve the right blend between all the hats we wear and looking after ourselves?

My top tips include:

• Get organised
• See if there are any tasks (both housework and business/admin tasks) that can be outsourced
• Find out if there are any services that can help with care for young children and/or elderly parents
• Scheduling in time for yourself is a must
• Setting clear boundaries around when it’s work time (especially if you work from home) and when it’s friend and family time
• Eat well
• Exercise regularly
• Switch off from social media
• Ask for help from your family eg: get the kids to pick up their own toys, dirty clothes, do their chores etc
• Make fun a priority – laugh everyday and smile at strangers

Above all, be kind to yourself. Some days will be hard, some days you will wonder why you are bothering to juggle all of the “hats”. But keep going, have hope, have faith that everything is working out for the best and that you are right where you are meant to be.

To the person reading this – you are important, you are useful, you are helpful, you are smart, you are needed and you are loved.

I see you, we all see you, we are you.

Much love
Marie xx